Dear Lord of the Cyberverse,
I guess you must be bored or something.
That's the only reason I can think of to explain why you've seen fit to start that irritating nonsense with my emails.
Yes, I have contacted you before about this.
And no I'm not going to bother searching back to find the links.
I'm sure you must have better things to do than to hold onto my emails and play with them.
Don't you know how much trouble this can cause?
I send them off and then wait for replies that never come.
Then I'm contacted by people who say they guess I didn't receive their mail and I have to say that I did and I replied ages ago.
Then, just for an extra giggle, you sometimes (but not always - huh, you're so crafty) bounce them back to me a week or so later.
I really really don't have time for this.
I have a barmitzvah to stress over.
Take pity on me please.
And if anyone reading this has wondered why I haven't responded to them, I almost definitely have!
Just ask the Lord ...