Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Kicking, gnashing, spitting ...

WHAT THEY SAY
Choose a repair appointment to suit you

WHAT THEY MEAN
Go ahead. Choose. Doesn't mean you can get it.

WHAT THEY SAY
Book it with one call

WHAT THEY MEAN
This one call will sap your will to live. And don't think for an instant that at the end of it you will have achieved anything apart from shaving several years off your life

WHAT THEY SAY
Report your problem 24/7

WHAT THEY MEAN
You will be on the phone 24x7

WHAT THEY SAY
Relax, we'll keep in touch with you

WHAT THEY MEAN
Relax? Ha! That's a good one. The tenants'll have a good laugh with this.

OK. I give in. I'll book it online.
Log in to council website.
Navigate menu options.
Get to repairs section several lifetimes later.

Read message:
To report a repair, phone our hotline.

OK - so here's what I have to say (and believe me, I mean it).

Whichever fun-loving bureaucratic slimeball came up with a system that involves punching every button on the phone keypad so many times you get repetitive strain injury and listening to the combined works of every minor composer who ever lived, and STILL not getting to speak to a human being let alone book an appointment, needs to come round like NOW so they can see what it's like to have no lights in a windowless bathroom at the very point in the life cycle of head lice that means it's essential to nit comb and you're going to have to do it by candlelight when you never wanted the sodding fluorescents in the first place.

11 comments:

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Hmm, you been having a bad day, honey-child...? If it's any consolation after having got repetitive strain injury calling the bank's call centre this afternoon and them being told by some phuckwit that I'd done a particular thing that I most definitely hadn't done, I gave up, threw down the phone and stonked and stomped. Didn't solve my problem, but stuff it, said I and came a-blogging...

Debi said...

Ha! Proof positive - blogging saves lives.

(Not ours unfortunately - just those who would otherwise fall victim to our savage ire ...)

Minx said...

Perhaps they might like to collect the rent from you in the same way. You could give put them on hold for six hours with some nice music, pass them around to different departments (bedroom, kitchen, toilet, bedroom, next door, upstairs etc)only to find that they have dialled the wrong number and don't have your special pin number.

As if!

Verilion said...

Oh I feel for you, been there done that with all the phone being cut off malarkey last year. The only positive point of that was that I finally got confident losing my temper in French and swearing like a good'un!

Shots said...

Ha! I know that feeling. I like the rent collection idea tho. I'm definitely going to put that into practice with my landlords...

Cai... said...

And.. bad days and injuries and call centers, all in the same lifetime. Buuh
Minx found the way. three cheers for sweet revenge

Debi said...

Hi and welcome, Cai. You have the edge in that you can obviously understand my blog but I'd have to resort to Babel Fish to translate yours. Bah!

BTW all - yesterday was MUCH MUCH worse. Just goes to show - all things are relative ...

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

And relatives are in all things - I wish they'd stay away and mind their own business...
I do not apologise, I am on a drive to be totally silly today.

Sharon J said...

I take it you're a tad peeved, Debi?

Our HA pisses me off, too. They're quick enough to jump on me if I'm a week late with the rent (yes, it happens) but try getting them to come and repair something that they don't consider urgent. Our kitchen airvent hasn't worked for 6 years and I've reported it several times a year during that time but has anything been done? Bugger all! Even though it blows cold air in instead of sucking air out!

Marie said...

I really feel for you. I've been there too. It's so frustrating.

Debi said...

He came! He saw! He well and truly conquered ...!

And it took him all of 2 mins.

We have light at last and OMG the state of the bath! How embarrassed am I?