Debi's guide to the major dos and don'ts of blogging.

So. Here I am. I've been skipping round this here blogosphere for many a moon now and I've picked up several pieces of wisdom along the way that I consider it my duty to share.

If you're new to blogdom, pay close attention. I'm going to impart these pearls to you because no one did it for me when I was just starting out. If only I had known then what I know now ...

This is it then. The Debi guide to the times when it is essential that you turn to your blog. And those times when you absolutely, indubitably, 100%edly, shouldn't be allowed within 50 miles of an internet connection.

WHEN ONLY BLOGGING WILL DO

1. When you're so angry you're screaming into your pillow with no one to hear you rant except the dust mites. And they gave up listening ages ago. In fact they've all got these teensy microscopic headphones and are boogying to the rhythm of your head banging on the pillow. Except the really poor ones who can't afford headphones and who just stick their little dust mite fingers in their little dust mite ears and sing, 'Lah lah lah lah! We can't hear you!'
2. When you're so happy you want to share the cause of your delight and spread the good vibes as far as you can virtually fling them.
3. When you have some really useful advice. (This post being a case in point.)
4. When you need some really useful advice. (Some may say this post is also a case in point.)
5. When you want to share a joke/pain/opinion/debate/stream of consciousness with a wider audience than the wooden duck you bought in Marazion but didn't want or even like but someone broke its beak and damages have to be paid for even when it's a helluva lotta money for a bloody wooden duck even if it's quite a nice piece of wood but it's got a malevolent glint in its eye ...

AND THOSE TIMES TO STAY AWAY. NO, THAT'S NOT FAR ENOUGH. BACK A BIT. BIT MORE. BIT MORE ...

1. When you've popped onto the laptop to check something for your 11 year old's homework and supper's on the stove. Fight that little voice whispering in your ear, 'Go on. Just a quick peek ...' Before you know it, the overcooked food was eaten aeons ago - along with everything else in your fridge, freezer and cupboards. And you've had your benefit cut because your First Born is over 18 - even though he's still in Year 7 because he's yet to hand in his homework.
2. When you're so off your face you can't remember how to open the laptop and find yourself staggering off in search of a hammer and chisel.
3. During a wedding - especially if it's yours - or you're the minister/registrar/photographer/best man/bridesmaid.
4. During a funeral. Unless it's yours. Otherwise the next one will be.
5. When you're driving/bathing/operating heavy machinery/operating on a patient/being shot at.

There are many more of course.

So I'm sending an appeal to all you seasoned bloggers out there. Let's create the ultimate list. Our gift to the world and to virgin bloggers everywhere.