Conversations

# 1

G: I'm getting a cough.
Me: Oh dear.
G: No really. I am. I mean it.
Me: Hmmm.
G: I can feel it. It's here. (Taps chest.) Ahem. Ahem. See? I'm coughing.
Me: Ah.
G: Why don't you believe me?
Me: Oh I do.
G: It's real. It is. A year of training and now this. It's a disaster.
Me: Ooooh.
G: (Dry scraping sound as he desperately tries to drag up non-existent phlegm from clean as a whistle tubes.) I'm going to do another blood test.
Me: Good idea.
G: (Wafts away steam from ears as attempts complex calculations to ensure blood sugar is at optimum level tomorrow.)
Me: Well?
G: It's quite high.
Me: Well that's better than low.
G: Why won't you believe me? I'm going down with something. I am. I'm coughing. Ahem. Ahem.
Me: There is such a thing as a nervous cough ...
G: A nervous cough? A nervous cough? Are you mad?
Me: (Sighs.) This happens every year. You just forget when you're in the middle of it.
G: I'll do another blood test. Agh! Disaster! It's low. That's completely blown it. I'll have a throwback high this time tomorrow. I won't be able to run. It's all over ...

# 2

G: I'm ready now. I'm up for it. It's ok. I'm on track. I'm gonna do this. I feel good.

# 3

Me: Boys! Do your homework now. Just get on with it. We can't have any aggravations today.
First Born: You're abusing your power. Just wait 'til I'm your mother!

# 4

Little Guy: I can't find my gym kit.
Me: Isn't it where it usually is?
LG: No. Dad put it somewhere ...
Me: Well, that's it then isn't it ...
LG: Yep. We'll never find it now.

# 5

FB & LG: Phwoar. Don't go near dad. He's just chewed a whole bulb of raw garlic ...
Me: (through gritted teeth) Hang on, guys. Less than 25 hrs to go ...

# 6

Me to all of you: Please make all this worthwhile by sponsoring G here. Big thanks to those of you who have already done so.