I'm building up to a top notch, platinum standard, highest quality, pure class weekend.
First and foremost, First Born is due back from his 8 day trip to France tomorrow.
Please, please, please Mr France Coach Driver, take care.
Watch out for slippery roads, precipitous edges, rockfalls, fog, blizzards, exhaustion, other drivers ...
Please, please, please Mr Ferryman, take care.
Watch out for unexpected currents, mechanical failures, stray ships, ice bergs ...
(Ice bergs? In the Channel? Come, come now. That's taking the anxious parenting too far.)
Please, please, please Mr UK Coach Driver, take care.
Just because you're nearly home, this is no time for a lapse in attention.
It's been a long journey.
Take a break if you need to.
You carry a cargo more precious than gold, rubies, diamonds and every coin in every currency across the globe.
The rest of the day will be spent on a family love-in of monumental proportions.
Meanwhile, back in the Real World, bloggers will be flocking from all points of the compass for Pipe & Slippers (and some of them will be crashing on various bits of our furniture).
On Sunday, they'll be descending on our tiny loved-up abode for lunch.
I haven't told them yet that they're going to need to sit on each other's shoulders.
Or that the reason I'll be serving finger food is that we don't have enough forks.
Oh and I must warn them about the toilet seat.
It's ... um ... not actually attached to the toilet, which can make for a less-than-relaxing lavatorial experience (unless they find rollercoasters soothing ...)
Then on Monday, it will be back-to-normal day.
And I'll probably be wondering if I dreamed it all ...
Oh - and did I mention that I'm deaf? Again?