Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Is this normal?

I'm feeling all wobbly and emotional, having delivered firstborn to his new secondary school for a day of inductions and taster lessons.
It's a huge school - 1200 kids - and he's only little. Well, not physically (he's only an inch shorter than I am and has bigger feet!) but you know what I mean.
It's all new and unfamiliar and there's new rules and new culture and new ways of being and new kids and new teachers and new everything and new and new and new ...
(Getting the picture of what I mean by 'wobbly and emotional' yet...?)

I mean I've done it, right? I took him and he's there now and I've abandoned him (!) and I've bigged him up and I've bigged up the school and I've done all I know how and now I have to back off and let him get on with it.
And, you know what? He was s-o-o cool. Some kids looked nervous, a few looked surly and many looked blank. But firstborn was sitting bolt upright with his huge eyes taking in everything and an eager expression on his face, wearing a t-shirt with 'Bring it on' written on the front.

So he's fine.

What I want to know is, is it normal for me to be sitting here twitching and feeling nauseous and unable to concentrate on anything except the tears pricking behind my eyelids?

9 comments:

Minx said...

We give birth to them Debi, they grow, they succeed, we cry.

It is the cycle of life and it hurts!

Sharon J said...

What Minx said! And as my oldest is 29, I can tell you that it never stops.

skintwriter said...

Yep - agree with Sharon, better get used to it

Verilion said...

And I'm knocking on 35 and my Mum still calls me regular as clockwork once a week to check in. If I'm out and she misses me I start getting texts, e mails, and even the dreaded voice mail that she hates leaving. So I guess it never stops.

Debi said...

Yeah, I know all that really ... it's not so much that it hurts but that it makes me feel queazy! My normal reaction to this stuff is to retch. Guess that's what's meant by a visceral response.
Anyway, he's home and safe and had a ball.
And he has the pencil case, pencils, pen and ruler to prove it ... all emblazoned with the immortal words:
I am proud to belong to xxx school!

crimeficreader said...

I don't think it's unusal Debi. My mum still has this type of memory from when she first took me to nursery school!

I love and can relate to Verillion's comments. In my case I'm the one that's supposed to check in regularly. If there's a delay I get the dreaded voicemail... (If I haven't been in touch then there MUST be something wrong.)

I don't have kids, but guess I'd be over protective if I did, as I see a frightening world out there.

Maxine said...

This is so strange, I just came from leaving a comment on Frank's blog (Books, Inq.) about Jenny having this day tomorrow.
It is a painful time, Debi, I agree -- has featured very large in our house for the past school year. The process is so protracted. Jenny goes off tomorrow for her taster day, and I'll go to the parents' meeting at 2. She really does not want to go to secondary school or grow up. She's an August baby so still only 10. Booo Hooo! I said to her tonight (she's off acting in her school production) "soon you'll be a teenager and then what will I do?", to which she replied, "Don't worry, Mum, it will be ages until I am a teenager." Sweetheart.

Cathy seemed to be so ready for secondary school, and has grown up wonderfully (I say grown up, she is 15 but seems grown up and independent). Jenny just seems like a baby. Sob!

Kath T said...

Yes, it's so normal and the thing is when they are babies you think I'll be glad when they are older so I can stop worring (ha, ha).You just change one set of worries for another lot.

It's such a strange feeling of being pround of them and totally scared for them. When my oldest started secondary school a friend whose daughter started the same day came to my house and we drank a lot of coffee and watched X men videos so by the time they came home we where quite hyper and they had just took it in their stride.

But have been assured by of my sons that I'm a total embarrassment as a parent, so must be doing a fairly good job.

Debi said...

Well now I'm getting it from both ends - so to speak.
Have just had the most hideously frustrating day with my wonderful 91 year old dad, trying to sort out various aspects of ... oh shit. Think I'm going to have to do a post about this and don't have time now ...
'Age Rage' - coming soon to a screen near you ...